We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
