Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
