Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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