Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
