my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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