Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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