This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
