I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
