I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
