do herpes really smell.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
