Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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