school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
