dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
