im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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