So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
