Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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