I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
