did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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