i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
