After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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