i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
