i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Your cock deserves a montage
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
