Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
