By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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