His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
