2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
