You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
