yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
