It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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