doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You dont lie about slip and slides
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
