She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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