we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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