i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
