After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
