there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
