After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
