Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
