i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
