New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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