im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
