Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
