nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
