Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
