And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
