I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
