can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
