Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
organizing the empties. That sober.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
