OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
