well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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