i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
